I would like to open an optimistic thread.

Myself: 5'5'' woman, almost 46 years old, weigh 228 lbs, which is 10 pounds lighter since my worst weight. Have been exercising since June, with a break that was caused by a short depression.

I swim breaststroke and on my back just with my legs, for 1 hr twice a week. I do strength training twice a week and do cardio intervals (treadmill+rowing machine) twice a week and on my recovery day I go to a relaxing yoga.

I climb the stairs to the second floor a couple of times a day.

I am buying a bike to commute to work three times a week (on the other two days I have therapy and need a car). I also want to go on bike rides on the weekend.

It is a lot of exercise, which is a big change from my being completely sedentary during a very long ruminating depression which I had when Risperdal made it worse for me than without any meds, and I could not even climb the stairs. And before, when I had a long hypomania streak, exercise simply wasn't on my mind.

I am on Geodon now, which energizes me, and I have been able to put together this exercise program. Also, Risperdal raised my sugar to the middle of the pre diabetic range and I was so scared that I exercised a lot to help the sugar go back to normal (it is almost normal and I plan a retest when I lose the next 10 pounds, if I do).

I find exercise energizing when my base mood is OK. When I am very depressed, exercise does not serve as a pick-me-up any more. Also, when I am depressed, I cannot do intervals - I can only do steady state cardio. They say that exercise can help anyone, but I am finding that it only helps when the base mood is OK to good. In a severe depression, I cannot work out.

My weight gain is a result of being sedentary, of taking Depakote, Zyprexa and possibly Lithium. Depakote and Zyprexa for sure were culprits, and I did not need them in the end. I suffered from weight gain without actually gaining anything useful from the meds.

I know that the body may not respond with weight loss despite all of these efforts, but I will still feel better and my heart, muscles and bones will be stronger. So I am optimistic.

So I thought of having a thread that focuses more on what is within our control - the miles, the weights, the time spent - and less on the numbers on the scale, not that I do not want my numbers to go down.

So: on the 20th my bike will be assembled. I have ordered XXL bike gear - the tights and the top - and sure hope they won't be too small. XXL is the biggest size offered by Pearl Izumi. If the gear fits me, I will go on a bike ride on the 20th, which is a week from tomorrow.