Myzen -- You tapped a chord in me with the pretending to be OK thing. When I am worst is when I am most likely to do my best to put a good face on things. I don't fool many people -- but I do manage to make myself so unapproachable and cold that I intimidate those who might sincerely want to offer comfort or help.

I am told that right now my lesson is to ask others for help. It seems to be working better to do so -- at least for the moment -- than my other approach of pretense.

I, too, have found a tribe of people who really understand and have helped me thru repetitive messages that I needed to hear this summer. Had I been thrown in a group, such as the one CandyBear is now dealing with, with so many discordant personalities and problems, I doubt that it would have been as helpful as the forums.