For the past two weeks I've had periods of time where my thinking is totally messed up. It's painful to be awake; all I want is to be unconscious. Sometimes I feel like there's an entity putting self-harm thoughts in my head. The other day I planned a suicide attempt, but felt better by the end of the day and didn't follow through on it. Then I have periods where I feel fairly normal and my judgement is good.

Is this a kind of rapid cycling? Random symptoms?

I'd say it's nothing to worry about because the symptoms are transient, but the suicidal ideation was very significant. I've had to enlist my fiancee's help in staying safe.