I'm glad that you were able to feel at least a little bit better after therapy, even if it wasn't by much. I've had those days as well, where I've left therapy only to continuously want to die and proceeded to binge drink later that same night or just cry. I very, very much know that feeling of not wanting to wake up in the morning. I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. Just know that you are not alone, and I as well as others will always be here to support you, even when life is so unbearable.