well it's 2:30am here , guess who can not sleep .... 10 days ago on a Dr's orders I stopped my doxepin .... I had developed a rash on my upper arms down to the back of my hands ... on my waist and over night down my right leg to the knee ... after the last very quick "growth" I was sure this was no heat rash or such .... he confirmed it was coming from inside most likely from my liver ... stopped doxepin .. dropped lamotrigene from 300 down to 200 ... shortly will be dropping it again .... may keep a small dose or may come off completey ... over the last 10 days the rash has flaired up and down ... it is so messed up the tip of one finger actually raised a swelling "whelp" that increased and went away over just a few hours ....
funny thing is right before this happened my pdoc and myself agreed we had finally found the meds I responded to best and I was planning to keep them long term ... he said it was the best he had ever seen me in the last 4 years ... since ip ...
I had been so "well" I thought my stress and depression was totally gone .... now coming off these the butterflies , the sleeplessness and the "fear" of daily living are returning ... today I starting seeing the end of that black tunnel in the distance ... not here yet .. but out there just taunting me ... given the choice of a burned out liver or mentally feeling like s@@t ... guess I will take the "black beasty" over a slow death ...
this is what happens with no sleep you think too d@@n much ... anyway see next Dr in morning ... really hoping for good news ... just wanted to see this in print as it helps me to cope by doing that ... kinda allows me to let it go .... just a little afraid .... I really think I will be fine , tough old bird and all that , I said all this to say ... when you have ANY unexplained side effect come up do not wait .... yell out loud and clear to your pdoc ... make him/her take the time to test or such ... mine has never sent me for a single test in four years ... I have my gp do all my blood work .... he (pdoc) never even asks for the results ...
get your pills from whoever ... but remember you are your best source of what is right for you ... be your own avocate ...
sorry so long winded I am going to quit now ... be well my friends ... Tigger ....포기 하지마