Dear Eden1515,
Your mental health issues are distorting your thinking. If you take your medication and keep talking to people about your worries, it will slowly get better. I find that when I am freaked out or having panic attacks, it helps me if there is someone I can talk to who understands. If you can learn to trust the people helping you, it will help you relax. Once you relax, you will be less tired. And it is OK to cry. Or maybe you are frustrated that you can't cry. That happens to a lot of people. Sometimes I wish I could cry about about the bad things that have happened to me, but I don't. And if I did cry, that would be OK. It is all OK. It will get better. It seems like you are already a little better.
You have already managed to accomplish alot because you are trying to get better and you are still here. We are glad that you are still posting. Taking medicine will make it so that you have panic attacks less frequently. If you take your medicine, talk to people and post here, there is a good chance that you will keep improving. I hope you keep improving. Sincerely, Myst