Thank you very much for your imput. It is good that he didn't go into accounting. LOL And unfortunately I'm not smart enough to know his job well enough to say "pretend x is the checkbook" and ... ew wait you might be on to something sabau, I just may try it! He's an electrical engineer and maybe (think so) there is a limit to the amount of electricity you can put into the machine you're building....

I want it to be clear, he is a WONDERFUL husband and father, truth be told better than I deserved at times in my life. I can (and this won't come as much of a shock to some of you) be very difficult to live with. He has stuck with me and supported me everytime I fell into a depression or flew into a manic state. I haven't always been nice or even civil. He says "I do not love in spite of your faults, I love you because of them." He knows this disrupts our life, but seems powerless to stop it. And when I am calm and rational, which I admit I am not when I mistake like that is made, I know he really just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand why either.

We have attempted (with REALLY bad results) to let him control the finances entirely in an effort to see what bills we have, when they are due and how much they are. I don't know how its possible to get disconnet notices from all your utilities in the same month, and not be able to say where the money has been going for the last two going on three months, but he did it and was actually surprised.

Maybe I'm the one that has to change, figure out a way to just accept the fact that this is the way he is and he cannot change. After 21 years of marriage you'd think I would. I just get so angry and frustrated because he is such an intelligent man and this is such a simple thing. I really do not want to humiliate or embarrass him.

When I wrote the post I was so angry. And thanks you and the advice and just listening, giving me a chance to explode has made me feel so much better and brought me back down to earth. I'm on my way to the link perna gave me, maybe that will give me some insight. Thanks again for listening and offering advice.