Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia
I've been married for 22 yrs. & ive asked my husband many many times to explore new things in the bedroom.
He flat out refuses. So same stuff.
So lately I've asked him if we could change the order of how we do things. For something different.
Again he said bashfully, no. Basing his answer solely on himself & what he wants.
I knew the answer would be no. I kind of knew why, but I didn't think it would make me angry....then sad.
I'm ready to pull the plug on having sex with him anymore. I feel like a robot.
Anyone else stuck in "marriage sex?"
|
Yes, yes. yes. Over 20 years for us also.
I used to ask her if we could change things up. She would say no. But then I found that if I allowed for spontaneity and just did things differently, she ended up enjoying very much. I'm not talking huge differences or acts that I knew she was absolutely opposed to. I knew better than that. I started with small differences like time of day or slightly different position. Worked up to surprising her with things like sexy lingerie, a DVD at the ready or un-intimidating toys. She loved it.
Turns out, she was afraid to change what she believed "worked" for her. She feared the unknown but realized that, together, exploration of the unknown can be very fun even if something isn't great and you have to go back to the tried & true.
This is the new millennium and you are an empowered sexual being. For strangers or new couples, of course no means no but in a committed, loving relationship I think there has to be latitude for spontaneity. Be adventurous and attentive to your partners reactions and you just might be surprised.
Alas, menopause hit us like a train and we're not clicking like we used to. Hopefully, we'll be able to get back to our regular irregularity before my equipment stops working!
Good luck & keep screwin!
