I'm not sure if I'm gonna make sense.
I don't know if I was doing the right thing. I was fighting for all my life againts avoidance . I even believe now that I was lying to myself. I liked to think than I was more than that. Neither I was ready to accept the label. I mean, I only considered it as a ghost I had to get rid of.
I did all what the doctors and psychologists asked me. I had all faith in a cure and spread my optimism with people who were like me.

Now, I don't know if I was doing the right thing. I think lying to myself was one of the mistakes because when you end up being hit by reality, your disappointment is higher.

One of the few things I still haven't tried to do is to accept this. I only fought, fought againts it without knowing the battle was missing beforehand. What should I do? What do you do?
Hope I made some sense.