I've been the same way. I likely had OCPD instead of Avoidant PD, later diagnosed with PDNOS. But they are somewhat similar. Who I "was" in terms of interacting with the rest of the world certainly wasn't who I wanted to be. And early in my experience with psychotherapy I was told, "Anything you are willing to face you can overcome." Well, I was certainly willing and tried.

Except that there really doesn't seem to be much of a way to change things. Understand, maybe, and that helps some. I understand my options better, maybe. Maybe someday there will be some better ideas but for now. . .I've been in and out of therapy for 50 years. I think the "change" I need to make now is just accepting, too. Ugh. . .not what I want, but. . .yes, reality is reality.