"like a manipulative cry baby fraud that can't handle a little stress.."

I do not believe that is you in any way! It's really tough to try and sort these things out, and there have been plenty of times that I have heard that accusing "voice" in my head saying:

"Why are you doing this?"
"What is this going to prove?"
"Why can't you just get over it, and move on?"
"You are so needy and whiny!"

I do not like that voice! It sounds similar to your statement about being a manipulative cry baby. It takes courage and determination to see this through! That's something a cry baby certainly do!

Now, the flashbacks, switching and under the influence.....

I'm still trying to figure these out myself.

The flashbacks are like fragments and images that come to me, and they seem to come as I work myself through others. Does that make sense? It's like it (my mind) has it's own agenda and I'm being walked through finding these parts of me as they need to be seen. It is hard to explain.

I don't really "switch" I don't think. It's more like a part blends with "me" and I feel the emotion and usually hear the thoughts of that part. It's more like a "knowing" not audible. There has been a couple of times that I experienced amnesia, that I am aware of. There has also been times, as I've already posted, that I was a passenger and was there, but I wasn't ALL there. I can't really explain that either.

I think it is so individual for each person, the best we can do is take it in as we go.

Don't know if that's of much help.

((( hug )))