I'm sorry you're going through this.

Did you ever stop to consider that depression has a physiological basis to it, and there's a good chance you can do something to help control it on your own? Since we know that meds work on neurotransmitters, instead of taking meds, why not take the amino acids that the body uses to produce those neurotransmitters instead? This is what I started doing almost a decade ago after being on meds for 13 years, and my mood is far more stable than it was on meds. And I'm not tied to a Pdoc who runs my life and tells me what I can and can't take.

Here are some sites and links to check out on the subject:

This is the largest non-drug mental health site with tons of articles and links:

What is ?Alternative Mental Health?? | Alternative Mental Health

Here's a brain function questionnaire showing what emotions/feelings are associated with what neurotransmitter, and what amino acid to take:

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf