There was a time, when I was much younger that I had dreams and a goal to make something great in my life. I wanted a great job after I left working for my parents. I had ideas of what I wanted, but it didn't come to be. I have a job that I enjoy right now and very happy to have it. But it does not pay a lot and not a "power job". I ask myself, "how did that happen?".

And then I wanted to get married, but it never happened. I had been depressed for so many years because of it. As of now in my life, I have accepted that I will never get married and probably never have a companion. The prostate cancer surgery I had last year killed my desire for romance. The surgery can do that.

So I feel like my great dreams I had for a great time in my life had just died. I'm very content to what I have going for me and feel very thankful. I know of others that have it much worse than I do. But then I have fears that the bad life that others I know have could happen to me.

My dream (and/or hope) is that in the near future my life could be like when I was younger. Though there were some trials during that time, too. Listening to the music I like from the past reminds me of the good times I had. It would be so great if I don't have to deal with having to take some medications and check ups like I am doing now (related to the following up from the prostate cancer). There are times when I feel like it's going to be worse in the future or more issues going on.

My ultimate dream is for eternity. To be in a place where there will be no more pains, sorrows, and suffering. Why does it seem like I would have to wait so long for that day? And why would have to suffer a whole lot until that day? Someday I'll be going home, even though I have no idea what that "home" is going to be like.