Hi Mouse and sister,

Thanks for responding. That's an interesting point about actions saying what we feel. Maybe that's true. I just wonder how I could have failed to appreciate something that was so good. How do I not know how to love the time that I'm in? Always on the outside somehow.

Sister, I have thought about going into another field but just don't see how I can afford to train in anything else. I'm single with only myself to support me. With that said, I am thinking of trying out a certificate program to try to get some legitimate training in my current field (found one that I can do online in my spare time). Might be helpful to have that on my resume if I ever get laid off again at least. But it's stressful to feel like the future is really uncertain. T says I'm catastrophizing and maybe I am (after all I'm employed again now), but losing my job made me really think about what will happen to me long-term....

Sidony