Well, it'd be okay by me if you asked on a thread I made. I don't know about anyone else but I'd rather help you out than worry about other crap.
With your daughter, I'd say that it's easy for us kids to get frustrated with our parents. My mom says things that bother me because I hate hearing my mom say things that degrade her self-worth. I get upset because she is worthy to me, she's worth everything, she's my mom and I love her. I see all the other stuff, too, but I see how good she is and it pains me to know that she doesn't see it in herself. To me, she's kind of like a hero. Started out in a really bad place, always had to take the **** end in life, was explosive and kind of abusive; but she's never stopped fighting and trying to improve on herself. She's always tried to get better and be better for her kids. That's what I see and that's what I love. She's bounced back from events that would've destroyed others, she's amazing.
It's difficult for us kids to see our parent struggle or self-doubt. We look up to them in a way that we will never look at anyone else. And, yeah, young people tend to act out in frustration pretty often. We just don't know other ways to express it and we're more impulsive about things, I think. We've got a lot of learning to do, but we'll get there.
I can't tell you if you're in the wrong or right; I can tell you that the fact that you even care enough to try and figure out reminds me of my mom and that's a compliment. Go easy on yourself.