I am one of many who does not have orgasm through intercourse...orgasm is important in that it relaxes me and makes me very hot for my partner...my current partner hasn't been consistently successful in getting me to that point although what he does feels good...I am confident now in own sexuality to do that myself while we are having intercourse, which actually feels pretty good. I was more shy to do that when I was married but during the last years of my marriage I would ask if I could give myself one as sex with him was very much one sided and I often felt frustrated if I didn't. Prior to that I was afraid to hurt his feelings so I didn't do that. My sex life now is much more liberated and I do what makes me feel good without feeling like I have to ask.