I remember feeling conflicted about the whole pursuit thing back in the late 70's/ early 80's. My mom was from the 50's and there were rules that were set in stone (so she said). In my generation people were saying they didn't want any game playing. But what did that mean? When I tried to not play games, I always got rejected!

I think it is a biological thing. Males are hunters and they want to be the ones to pursue. If you take that away from them, they lose interest. If they are so passive that they allow the woman to be the aggressor, the woman will probably lose interest in a male so passive.

I am having horrible marital problems because my h is so passive toward me. But, when we met, even he was the one who pursued me and I let him.

When we met I let him ask for my number. I waited for him to call. I let him ask for a date. He'd say "I'll call you tomorrow" and I'd wait for that call. And he would call when he said he would.

Once we were really seeing each other I'd call him some of the time, too. I'd ask him somewhere, etc... it's a give and take.