A year ago I was involved in a car accident which killed my fiancé. 3 months ago I went to a phycologist for an analysis and within 10 minutes was diagnosed with PTSD and put on a therapy plan. I was reassured that nightmares will soon go away and my social life will go back to normal.
My nightmares are a while different story, but right now I'm concerned about the social issue. A few days ago a family friend went to give me a hug and I panicked and pushed her away; later going to her and apologizing, and trying to explain how being touched triggers memories and anxiety attacks. She just laughed. Then this morning my mother woke up and looked into my room to see me already awake (common issue). Then when she asked if I'm having a rough day and I nodded, she asked "May I hug you?" I quickly said no and could feel my entire body tense. She then went and got ready, and I finished getting dressed. We both walked into the kitchen and she said "May I hug you now?" Expecting time to prepare myself for touch to help. "Not today." I could tell she had been crying, her love language is touch so I can see where this would bother her.
My question is, Is this normal? Even a hand on my shoulder freaks me out. I've actually punched some people because they touched my without warning. What are some ways to cope that'll allow people to touch me without getting hurt or send me into a flashback?
Thanks in advance!