If I believed in God, I would be praying for you right now.
I have no idea if you are making a mistake or not because I can't really know the dynamics of your marriage or if you have mental health issues.
I only know that divorce is not easy emotionally. In most states, if your children are grown, the other issues are not as complicated. In my state, you would get 50 percent of his and your net worth. There is nothing that can be used against you that would change this. Now when there are kids under 18, stuff can be used against you in regards to custody.
I can only speak for myself in regards to my personal mental health issues. I think that my anxiety and depression (possibly bipolar type issues) made me read all sorts of "ill intent" into my spouse's actions that were not there. Not that he is perfect but who is. I have come to realize that he is committed to our marriage for "good" reasons. When I realized this, I became more appreciative of the sacrifices that he made.
Life is short. If you had one year left to live (sorry to be such a downer all the time), would you still want the divorce?
I wouldn't worry about the financial stuff; it is only that I want you to make the decisions for the right reason--not because you have a mental illness that is sabotaging your life. Myst