I find myself always playing out every possible scenario in relation to everything in my life. Anything that could go wrong, I think about how it will happen an am always watching for the signs that it is happening. Relationships are definitely one of the common simulations that I run through, analyzing every communication and replaying it to match things said up against any perceived strangeness in their behavior or frequency of contact. When people change their habits or behavior towards me, some part of me always thinks it is because they have turned against me and it's only a matter of time before that is revealed. By the time they say or do something again that reassures they are still on my side, I've already made mental lists of how to fight any impending war with them and trying to connect their behavior to other peoples that may be co conspirators with them.

It is tiring to do all of that, but not doing it is not an option.