I actually allow him into my life. I used to snap at him. Today I can allow him to show he cares. I'm sure it's a cultural difference. I didn't snap at him today. I brought it here. I appreciate your compassionate response. I suffered for years in therapy with my mental health dx. I still suffer with it today. My current therapist is in private practice so it's different. I've signed no contract or plan. However I listen to what she is saying to me. Last session she told me "stay with me Leo mama". I've been thinking about that all week. I was dissociating in therapy. It's ironic as I listen to other people talk about their dissociation and yet didn't know I was doing it.