Quote:
Originally Posted by ScientiaOmnisEst
I feel crazy. Like, I've been obsessing over the topic of this thread for almost a day and it's finally dying down, something kind of ridiculous and pointless even. At the very least, something fixable.
I worry there's a part of me that wants to have something wrong with me - something to define me, to explain and justify me. A new revelation will sometimes disturb me, other times I embrace it.
I'm not sure living for others is going to help. In fact, I tend to fight and run anytime someone proposes that as a solution to my problems. I know this self-obsession leads nowhere, probably is making me crazier than I ever was, but..I can't explain why pulling out of it for more than a short burst feels...wrong?
No, I don't have friends or activities. I haven't had friends since I was in the single-digits, and I gave up most of my activities years ago. I can't make myself care much about anything these days. I think about stuff, but that's it.
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If you enjoy this mental masturbation (in essence) all day long then go for it, but you sound very unhappy with your life in your posts. Maybe you don't mean for it to come off that way but it does.
Somehow I suspect medication has been recommended in the past and you aren't on any now.