I don't know if this will answer anything. It seemed like my parents didn't show affection that much. A little bit, but a little bit helped. For some strange reason my parents didn't like my late brother that much. I remembered how abusive they were to him. But I feel like I've been very aware of it only in recent years. I guess that he and I were oblivious to it at the time of us growing up. My brother had passed away a year ago at this time. It seemed like he carried a lot of hurt with him and that may have caused his premature death. He drank and smoked a whole lot. And probably did a whole lot more of other things.

I had to move far away from my parents because I just got sick of them being critical. They were critical to me directly and would constantly say bad things about other people. Including everyone in the family and some of their friends.

I found out, only a few years ago shortly after my parents passed away, that they had not planned on having children. They wanted to get married and not have kids. So I just realized why they acted the way they did. They had four children and I was the youngest.