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okiedokie said:
It's teaches that one's goal should be to be "effective" in one's relationships. What about sincere?! "Mindfully lying" is ok. What about honesty?! Get, gain, keep. Where in there is giving, caring about, and helping others?

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You should ask your tearful leader these questions :-) "Get, gain, keep" is what he's practicing by getting you to come back? Not quite a cult I don't think. Maybe you could do your take on things, "effectively sincere?" :-)

I would try to "separate" the behavior from the feelings about the behavior? I think behavior therapy is teaching about "doing" rather than the feelings, or even thoughts, that go with the doing. Just a different emphasis that can help if one is "intellectual" or "emotional" and balance one a bit better?