My son's father has reappeared after years of absence. He's blaming BPD...

He's come on like a Mack truck, insisting he should be a full decision making coparent when he admits he has no idea what to do and he's little more than a stranger.

My son's therapist has told me I have to reign him in and slow him down for my son's sake. I don't think I'm doing a good job of that.

He's being very flip-floppy, first demanding that I change my son's medications and therapies when he knows nothing of his history, and then insisting he was just making conversation.

Now he's had a complete tantrum and has threatened to disappear again and simultaneously sic a lawyer on me. (I know a tantrum when I see one - I'm the mother of an autistic teenager.) He's being hugely disrespectful and snarky. He's hurt and angry and things haven't gone the way he hoped. I get that.

Here's the thing - how should I proceed? My gut says don't say a word until I've talked to my son's therapist since clearly I've screwed this up big time. But that wouldn't be until Monday. So another part of me thinks I should say something - anything - just to keep from making him feel even more dismissed. But maybe that will keep his hackles up and he just needs some time to cool off.

So what do you think? Is it better to wait a couple of days until I get professional advice or is this a situation where feeling abandoned is more damaging?