I would tell him before further conversation you want to talk to your son's therapist and leave it at that until you do so. You haven't screwed anything up. You continue to follow your son's treatment team...they are the professionals and apoarently it's working or YOU would've asked to change it. It is totally unrealistic to walk back into a childs life after years of disappearance and expect change everything in treatment. There's ABSOLUTELY nothing logical about that...PERIOD. He needs to show a steady and consistent presence in his son's life again before getting a say in major decisions...at least I would think but I'm no lawyer.