Hello community,

I could use some advice and insight. Ending toxic relationships is something I know very little about and it has been dawning on me as of late.

I have some toxic relationships in my life. I hit rock bottom and turned to my friends and family for support only to be met with a mixture of invalidation, blame and toxicity. Becoming vulnerable with my family was a mistake, as was with my friends. They made me worse, not better. This was a clear sign that they were not healthy relationships. Because I didn't want to be alone, I kept going back to them, hoping that they would stop hurting me. It did not stop, in fact, it got worse. We teach people how to treat us - in saying this, I was to blame for allowing it to happen for so long. So I set limits and stopped talking to almost everyone. I have set boundaries with these people but I still feel it is not enough. At this time I have spoken briefly with some of these toxic people in my life and have been treated poorly. I seem to have attracted a lot of unhealthy relationships and I am suddenly aware of it. Now that I am gaining clarity and becoming healthy, I have enough self respect to stand up for myself and not put up with psychological abuse and subtle narcissism. These people do not like this, they like having the control over me that I would allow in the past... So it is hard to see their true colors when I am becoming healthy...

My question is this: How do I end toxic relationships?

Some of these people are narcissists, some are bullies. Some are fair weather friends... There is a lot of dynamics at play and it is far too complex to explain on here, but I am a good friend. I suffer Borderline, yes I have pushed and pulled these people and for the most part I did so because I began to recognize the abuse they were putting me through. I believe I need to make new friends, but I am also scared of being alone... The process of eliminating toxic relationships and replacing them with new and healthier ones is both lengthy and seems impossible; the last thing I want to do is shut the door on old relationships and crawl back to them when I cannot foster new ones and become sick of being alone...

Any advice? Any insights? Please help.

Thanks,
HD