I'm sorry you're going through this.

Suicide ideation can be a side-effect of common meds. I had been on klonopin for years, went off all meds and then decided to take it again for a sleep disorder. Within 3 days I was sobbing uncontrollably and actually trying to figure out how to kill myself. I'd never done this before or since. Finally I remembered my sister telling me that a neurologist told her a certain med could cause anxiety so I decided to google klonopin and see if suicide ideation was a side-effect. Sure enough it was!! I went off it and my mood returned to normal.

Google your meds with the terms 'side-effects, suicide ideation' and see if you find anything. You could be okay at one dosage, but if you increased it recently, that could trigger it.

If you're seriously concerned you'll hurt yourself, call 911 and tell them you're considering harming yourself. They'll send an ambulance to take you to the hospital.