The Skeezyks has struggled with suicidal ideation for years. (I've also been self-harming.) I've actually tried to take myself out in a big way twice. Both times I did this, it was a spur-of-the-moment decision... no pre-planning involved. I presume not everyone has this experience. But it is one potential danger here.

While you may feel you're still more-or-less able to control your urges there is at least the possibility that, at some point, you could simply decide all-of-a-sudden that you've had enough & you're going to end it all right there-&-then. You may or may not succeed. If you do, you will leave behind a trail of tears that will echo down through the futures of many lives. If you don't, you'll likely create a lot of heartache & confusion to say nothing of the financial cost of hospitalization & recovery. So please reach out now, in real life, for the help you need.

By the way, if you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, why on earth are you watching TV programs that depict various methods of suicide?