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I feel like I've lost all control of who i am or what i do, even though i know this is not the case.
I feel like a huge chunk of my identity has been taken from me, and I'm totally lost.

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Sad~ I experienced the same thing about a year ago, I have learned since to make sure I have a separate concept of myself and who I am completely independent of the other person, and then also to have a concept of "us" being I and my significant other.

Try reading up on this website www.joy2meu.com

I find most everything the website says helped me to get to where I can have separate identities, I somewhat have incorporated what it says in understanding my religion.

I still struggle with trying to keep myself from being too involved with the other person's life so as to keep myself from feeling like I have lost a part of myself in the case that we are to break up. Only move that close to someone when you have a long term commitment, but even then, maintain that separate identity, make sure your life is not going to change dramatically if your other is to leave you somehow.

Sorry this post turned into a huge advice thing, but I understand what you're going through and I found no relief and solace except drugs... So believe me, if cuddling can get you past the initial hump, do so by all means.

But I find the only way I can continue to be healthy in this way is through God.

Hope you get well soon, <3s