I think that is the right approach. If you feed his "hysteria" he'll continue doing it. Prayers and peaceful vibes for you and your son as you endure this mans selfish behavior.
BPD has treatment that should enable your ex to gain better control of himself. So his behavior regardless of the diagnosis really is inexcusable.
Just keep doing what is best for your son. Let the rest of the chips fall where they may.
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