ever since my depression started (i was 15) i've been a little crazy, but during my family breakup it became intolerable... even though some of the family members hurt for me there was little they were able to do or say, i suppose they must have felt pretty helpless themselves...

getting away and quiet time now might be good for you... it's just so hard to stay silent when you feel your life and heart being ripped apart...

if i had it to do over again i wish i had more strength and been able to mask my pain better... in my case my mind was running overtime and the moodswings were horrible, one moment strong, next falling to pieces... i wish i had been able to spare everyone else my hell, but it just wasn't so... everyone likes a strong man, dealing with his pain and not showing how much it hurts but isn't that a movie character? someday i hope we mature enough and pain and sorrow is seen as a normal and natural part of the human process for everyone, not just a few groups who are then lablelled as weaker... men hurt too dammit!!!

it will turn dragon, and it will pass, but i know thats hard to see right now, but trust in the process, i know, i've been where you are and even though it seems like the end of all things, it isn't... you can become stronger from this but it takes time... sometimes i think the greater the pain, the greater the lesson is going to be... hang in there..