i can imagine the relief you feel getting those words out jinny... never does us any good to lie or deny to ourselves what our true feelings are... and feelings aren't rules we have to follow, only acknowledge... and the "down" feelings sometimes over-ride the "good" feelings and take over for awhile but we find all our feelings are still in there... don't feel like you've made a decision because you announce a feeling... all you've done is announce a feeling... good for you...