"I have no hope that life is EVER going to get better ..."

It may not .. but it will be different ... every day we draw breath life is different ... look for the differences ... in the flowers , the weather, those around you ... notice and conscientrate of the little things that change day by day ... seek these out .. revel in lives little changes ...

"Just have to go through the motions I guess, the meaning of my life".

Life has no meaning in and of it's self ... we give meaning to our lives ... the smallest desire to be different will create a difference ... we can change if only the tinest amount at a time ... look at ants .. so tiny .. seemingly so weak and useless ... like we feel sometimes ... but a tiny little at a time and not stopping or giving up and they can move mountions ...

"My bed has been my best friend lately. "...

be thankful for what you have ... I can not and have not slept more that 2 to 3 hours for days ... your "bad " thing would be a god send to me ... none of us are better or worst that another ... we are just different ... and our days change in what we need and want ... time is a great healer ... if we allow it to play out ... peace and love to you .... Tigger .. 사랑해 . 당신은 강한이되어야한다