dragonphoto, I'm sorry you are going through such hard times right now with your marriage and family. I hope especially you will let your kids know why you are withdrawing right now. Kids need to know it is not about them. They feel abandoned. They just need some reassurance you will be back and they haven't done anything wrong to drive you away. It was extremely painful for me and my kids when my husband withdrew from our family. None of us knew what we had done wrong, just that we had "lost" an important member of our family. Very painful.

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I feel like she does not want to work this out because everytime I want to talk about it she can't talk

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Sounds like the situation is extremely painful for your wife. I hope she can see a therapist and work through some of her pain so she can move forward with you on the marriage, whichever direction you guys choose. I was in therapy for a while before I got the courage to move forward with a divorce. It's a tough road, and hope springs internal that you can make things work. My husband and I went to about 8 sessions of couples therapy to help us "uncouple". It was very helpful in getting us to communicate openly about our future (splitting up). We were in a lot of denial before that. Yesterday was a landmark day for us. We officially separated, and my husband moved out. Even though we know we don't want to be together anymore, it is still painful for us both. Therapy has taught me not to deny that pain.

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everyone likes a strong man, dealing with his pain and not showing how much it hurts

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nowheretorun, actually quite a few women do not prefer this sort of man. I am one who really likes a guy who is not afraid to show his emotions and express his vulnerability. Don't be sucked in by the image the movies give us! Keep on working on being authentic. It's worth it and I think helps with mental health.