You are surely a good daughter and a good sister.

Patty, to be honest with you-- I had to take care of my mom after her hip surgery and it was a huge struggle to stay "gounded". My mother was one of the few person's that contributed to the PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder) I experienced in childhood-- it's so upsetting to be with her even today-- she won't allow her children to be emotionally close, if you try you will be accused of horrible things like stealing from her. It was so so so extremely hard to be there taking care of her. I don't think I'll be able to do it again without losing myself completely.

I don't know your sister's childhood experiences but maybe some upsetting feelings come back to her when she's around your mom??..... maybe some feelings that she's tried with all her strength to push aside and go on living.... maybe--- you think-- that she could feel it's too much of an emotional task for her, that she is not up to?......

I may be way off here-- just thought I'd share my experience to show that we are not all the same and what is good for one person-- like you--- may be more damaging to someone else-- like perhaps your sister.......

I do wish you all the support you can get and we are all here listening and caring.

Patty--

mandy