first post, here goes:

so i havent had to cut from stress lately since swimming is the perfect kind of fullbody pain. but then sometimes [this is going to sound crazy] i dont feel like im real. its hard to explain. its like the lines around objects are too sharp or too blurred and it doesnt feel like im really there/alive. like i dont exist. like nothing really exists and i have to slap my cheeks or hit myself to make sure i am here. its totally crazy, i know, but it feels really gross. like im in a movie or something. and i have the mentality that nothing matters since its not real life. it happens sometimes and i dont want to do anything because its not real. but then it just goes away.

i dont know, its really bizarre.
~rose