Hello miss_rainy: Since you posted this yesterday, perhaps things have changed for you. However, as far as your question regarding going to the hospital goes, my personal feeling is that a hospital should generally be the option of last resort.

If you feel as though you are not safe then, by all means, go to the hospital. However, if you can do it, I think it would be a better plan to get in to see a mental health professional... a psychiatrist or therapist first. (I don't know if you have anyone you see currently. If not, it's perhaps past time to make some arrangements.) The mental health professional you see can assess you & help to make a decision with regard to whether or not going to the hospital makes sense. At least this is my personal opinion.

Oh... & by the way... please don't feel embarrassed. This is what we're all here for! Hope you're feeling better today.