I'm sorry you're going through this.

You might think about trying alternative treatments for depression and anxiety where you give your brain the nutrients in the form of amino acids it needs to produce the neurotransmitters it needs so you feel normal, and are able to function.

I've been using amino acids and the mineral lithium orotate for 9+ years now to treat my bipolar 2 after being on meds for 13 years with limited success. Since using the amino acids and lithium orotate, my mood has been a thousand times more stable than it was on meds, and I no longer feel like my life has no meaning. Now I'm actually happy with my life without being hypomanic--just a normal upbeat happy where every little thing doesn't throw me for a loop like it did when I was on meds.

Here's a brain function questionnaire that shows the emotions/feelings that are related to which neurotransmitter and what amino acid to take to produce it. I used this when I decided to try amino acids to get me started.

http://drjolee.com/Brain-Function-Questionnaire.pdf

This is an article from Natural News about using amino acid therapy for depression, anxiety, and other conditions:

Amino acid therapy for depression, anxiety, ADHD, addiction and more - NaturalNews.com

Another article on amino acid therapy for depression:

https://experiencelife.com/article/a...-improve-mood/