What a weekend. It started out well. Mom was over yesterday to help finish pulling the weeds in my front yard. If she didn't come, it would still be a work in progress, so that was extremely helpful. Since I hadn't really seen or talked to my mom in a loooong time, I just kept running my mouth about everything. But then as she was getting ready to go, I started feeling guilty and was teary eyed from some of the stuff she was telling me. Basically about money, and the guilt comes from me wanting to move and her living on her own has messed her up financially. I just want my mom happy, and financially secure.
Today I woke up with bad anxiety again. I just couldn't get myself to get up and move. The only reason I was finally able to pull myself out of bed was because I was hungry. And I desperately needed food, so I had to go grocery shopping. And I had to force the dreaded shower only because I hadn't had one since Thursday. I took a Vistaril before I left, but it was still hard, I felt like everyone was looking at me. I just needed to get through it. I ended up spending more than I would've liked, and that's including me not buying certain items. I came home still anxious and took more Vistaril and eventually passed out on my couch. Woke up and threw a pizza in the oven, finished painting my nails, and here I am for a few minutes until my night cocktail kicks in. Nervous to go to work tomorrow.
Hope everyone else is ok.