Although it probably seems like years to you, with all that you have had to deal with, her nervous breakdown is actually a fairly recent event. Her refusing to get the help which she has been encouraged to get would also be very frustrating.

All this stress, along with trying to maintain a job and family life, is a huge weight to carry.

You may decide to get a divorce at some point, but I would caution against going forward with this immediately. Your emotions are high and changing right now, and she may be totally different a few months from now than she is today. Give yourself and her recovery more time before making a final decision with this.

Have you considered going to a therapist for yourself to help you work through the stress these events have caused? I ask because guys don't typically give emotional support to each other like women do. ("Sheesh, my wife is still acting weird"/"Yeah, wives live to make us miserable. Wow, did you see that pass by Prescott?)

Who knows, she may even decide to go after she sees you going.