I don't expect things to get any better, so I suppose I have given up.

I don't go looking for friends or men really. Things have just happened as they have.

Thanks for the advice though. Everyone in this town knows I'm mad though, so I won't meet anyone to make friends with anyway. People are not very enlightened here. That doesn't help as I retreat into myself. I don't trust people any more. When I have they have turned out to use me or treat me badly. As I say my ex is the only person I feel I can fully trust. I find it hard to talk to him about men as a result and I have had more support online than in real life. People have been told but they have dismissed it. They said they would support me but they don't understand it. So I can't physically talk to anyone about these problems and I have to deal with them.