hello everyone. i'm a 17 year old high school student. i am in 12th grade, but i'm graduating in three years or less (as im very behind). i have a lot of physical and mental disorders (gad, mdd, ptsd, bpd, add, psychosis, gender dysphoria, suspected autism, ect) and am mostly always anxious or sad. i have no hobbies or support system. i dont have a therapist, but i do have a psychiatrist who takes care of my medications. im going to an alternative high school with tiny classes. there's the teacher, and then anywhere from 2 to 15 students per class. i dont have any friends at school, except for my brother who is in 9th grade. i find it very hard to socialize and make friends. the main problem i have with school though, is attendance. our school year started on september 6th and i've missed 23 days of school, 24 if you count today. i just cant find the motivation or will to go. punishments don't affect me, neither do rewards. i feel hopeless. i wanted to be a marine biologist, but i do not have the grades. i have no future ahead of me. i have a very strong belief (my old therapists called it a 'delusion') that i will die before im 25. so many things are overwhelming to me, and i've always had strong suicidal tendencies. i used to cut every day, i've been clean for a year, but i have supplies and im ready to start again. anyway, this accidentally turned into a bit of a rant but it also sheds some light on my situation. if anyone has any tips for motivating themselves to go to school, any advice or tips, it's all welcome. thank you so much.