I don't know what I do. Last time I was paranoid like this I was put in the hospital and only took the meds because I knew they wouldn't let me out otherwise. I also didn't care if the meds killed me because everything was so distorted it just didn't matter....so I took the meds and something must have clicked and things became clearer and I began seeing the meds as a tool rather than a threat.

I wish I had advise for you but I don't really know what changed my perspective for certain. (((Hugs)))