You're lonely and craving affection and companionship. That's completely understandable.

But you're setting yourself up for hurt by this dynamic with guys just wanting sex and triggering your insecurity and low self esteem. It's causing you harm and not good for you.

You don't want the sex. It's not at all about that for you. You want the company and affection. But they are not giving you affection. They are just serving themselves and even standing you up.

You say you want him to be a friend. He doesn't want to be your friend.

The only real way to move forward is to stick to being good to yourself, don't allow anyone to use you no matter what they say-- it's what they do that shows they care. Give it time. If they are not willing to take you out on dates before sex is even a consideration don't see them.