I felt my doctor was "in on it". What "it" was changed a few times...but I knew he was part of a group of people or aliens who were trying to drive me crazy in various ways. I definately understand thinking he's "bad" my doctors faces, body language and voice changed into something threatening. Anyone who argued against my delusions became "part of it". Otherwise, why would they be protecting these people and denying what I obviously saw. It's very confusing. I agree with the other poster that you don't seem too out of it....but do your best to tell your doctor everything you are feeling if you can manage it. They can't help you if they don't know what's wrong and it sounds like you know you need help. (((Hugs)))