Trigger warning: depressive post.
Anyone else out there lonely due to your mental illness? I scare people away on accident sometimes with my neediness and my tendency to talk too much about my problems.
I wish I could be around people all of the time. People who want to talk about deep stuff. People who can handle my s***. But those people don't exist.
I have to be so careful to be professional at work and with my work friends. I have to be so careful not to say too much or be too needy. I can't even tell my husband everything that goes through my head, because he will get overwhelmed. I wish I could just be real and authentically me. But then again, maybe not. Maybe I just wish I could not have a MI so I wouldn't feel this way in the first place.
__________________
...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~
Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart

Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN