I was not hospitalized, but I definitely look back and feel that I should have been. When my moods get mixed, I have a tendency to not get help right away, because I get too paranoid about talking to doctors. I tend not to talk to people around the times where I need help the most. Also, I have very self-destructive thoughts and actions during mixed episodes when they become severe. I get agitated, hypervigilent, and have extreme difficulties sleeping during these times since I cannot turn off all the racing thoughts (especially surrounding paranoid delusions). It's strange, because it's a "high energy" type of depression.

The last time my mood started getting mixed, I was able to catch the warning signs in time where my pdoc was able to made some adjustments to meds, which helped prevent it from snowballing. The sooner you get help, the better.