I have never been diagnosed with BPD but I could possibly have it. I am an emotional wreck lately and have been very depressed. I live in Chicago and my fiance of 2 1/2 years lives in the UK. We have started the visa journey for him to move here and he is planning to visit in December (has a ticket). We have always been madly in love and he used to always give me so much attention. At the time its stupid because I was STILL suspicious and untrusting. A lot of things changed last November when he admitted to me that he found another woman. It was a devastating time for me. He felt terrible about it, we worked it out, but I still obviously have many fears. I am still dealing with it and constantly thinking about it. Recently things have been a lot different. He has been busier and doesn't message me as much. I also tend to stalk him on facebook and it could drive a person insane. He has been on a lot lately so I immediately jump to thinking, he has another woman.

This is all crazy thinking and its driving me insane. I love him so much and I do know that he cares about me but I constantly demand reassurance and it can be tiring. Yesterday I felt good about our relationship because he reassured me and said things are going to work out. Now today I feel sad and depressed because he has been busy, not talking much. Its a pain to constantly feel this way.

How have people dealt with this kind of relationship without going crazy? Sometimes I feel like I'm on the verge of going to a mental hospital. My fiance is not all that supportive anymore because he even tells me I'm crazy at times and unstable. Which he is right. I know that if I work on my confidence things will improve, but that takes time. I want to feel better about things now. I have started working out and lost weight and working on quitting smoking..but I am such a nervous wreck that I dont now if that will ever happen. I was at a much happier place when we first met. So this is really depressing that I can't just pick myself up and feel better.