Hi I'm new and this is my first post. Don't know how to navigate around. Took me a week to find the bipolar forum. Anyway, there were so many things in your post that describe me. I am married but am on disability and I sit alone day after day. Only see my husband about 1.5 hrs a day except weekends. Ever since Facebook came around that is my only contact with the outside world. The only one who calls me is my mom and my step daughter. My own daughters rarely call me or see me. My sister the nurse and my brother the doctor don't even call me. I guess I'm just trying to let you know I understand your loneliness. I don't know if it's appropriate to give advice just provide info about me. About 3 years ago I was also working out but at home. That lasted about 2 years. Then I got into reading books. Didn't last long. Next was knitting. Well you can guess what happened to that. I also have lupus and smashed up discs in my back. The Dr. said working out would help my back. The pdoc said it would help my head. So easy for them to tell us what to do when you don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Now to meds...I was taken off depakote last Feb. Developed neuroleptic malignant syndrome. Went with no psyc meds for a couple of months. I was a basket case. Went almost 4 to 5 months till I reached a therapeutic dose. I can also relate to your financial situation. Won't bore you with details. I think I'm rambling so I better quit while I'm ahead. To sum up this dissertation, I guess we're not alone with out feelings.